Thoughts on week one

This will be scattered and jump all over the place. But I wanted to get my feelings down. It will be interesting to look back on this in the months to come.

Well, I have been back to my new, old job for a week now. So how does it feel? Well, pretty much the same as when I left. It feels pretty normal. A lot of it feels the same as when I left. However, there is a somewhat different cast of characters, four people left shortly after I did. So now there are several new people starting. I left and it was a pretty experienced group, now, lots of newbies. The newbies are wide-eyed and excited. The couple that weathered the storm of the last year are tired and somewhat beaten down. A few need some energy pumped back into their system to get through the busy season that is fast upon us. While some I need to slow down, saying don't worry you will get to work all the long hours you have heard about soon enough.

Starting out the first week, I felt overwhelmed with lots of responsibility on my shoulders. Our leader has mentally transitioned to his next phase of life. He is in the office physically, but very ready to moving into retirement. I feel as though I have little time to squeeze every ounce of knowledge out of his head. I am thankful he and I have a very open and honest relationship. We trust each other and he is willing to share with me the good and bad that is to come. Transitions are hard. Hard for employees and for clients. I feel a lot of pressure to make sure both are happy. I know I have it in me, but if I let my woman mind get away from me it is overwhelming. Unfortunately, I came back to something that is broken and it will take some hard work to fix.

The middle of the week I came home and poured my heart out to Tim. He has already been amazingly helpful. I used to pick the girls up every day, but that is just not feasible. We will have to work together to run the household smoothly with more weight being on his shoulders at times. I have organized our house and my mind knowing that busy times are fast approaching. However, I have this intense guilt that I am not doing enough at home. While I hate turning over jobs, especially that are related to the girls, I know it just has to happen. Mentally my mind is split between running and office and a household. Over the last year there was really no mental time spent on work. I just went to work and that was it. I never thought about work at home. I know it will get easier and really I do love this challenge. I think the biggest challenge of this year will be learning to not internalize stress. Tim is so very good at this. I am trying so hard to listen to his words of wisdom he has been giving me.

Other things on my mind are how to correctly lead the office. During my mid week break down, I was voicing to Tim all the different personalities and challenges. I was worried about having credibility with the newer people and regaining the respect/trust of the ones I had left for a year. He basically told me to chill out and just do what I do. Lead by example and do what I feel is best for the office. He encouraged me that I was good before and I will be good again. Lots of things I needed to hear. I started the next day with a much more positive attitude and ready to conquer the world. I am continually reminding myself that this is a journey. I am trying to have a positive mindset and have some fun along the way. Prayers for keeping my mind and attitude in check would be greatly appreciated!